Right Here
by Shizuku Tsukishima749
Summary: -Possible season 3 spoilers.- Keith hasn't had a panic attack since Shiro first disappeared on the Kerberos mission, then since he vanished again months ago after seriously injuring Zarkon. And yet, when the Black Lion chooses Keith to lead Voltron in Shiro's stead, here he is again. Luckily, Pidge isn't about to let him suffer alone or for long. Oneshot. Kidge


_A/N:_ I'm not dead! I've just been very sick (for a year and a half, ugh) and very busy (with my now-two jobs)! As such, I haven't had much energy or motivation/inspiration for writing, but I guess I just needed the _right_ inspiration because _voila_! This was inspired by an idea I've had since watching the last episode of season two the day it came out. I always figured that Keith, being as close as he is to Shiro and after everything they've been through together already (especially this season), would freak out and have some kind of panic attack when Shiro disappeared on him again. That was my _original_ plan. Then, though, I brought it up in my Kidge Discord group to see what they thought, and a friend responded, '[My thinking was] like it was Keith having a panic attack when Blackie chose him like "if the black lion chose me...that means Shiro is gone..." type deal.' _And h_ _ello, instant motivation_! I spent the rest of the day writing and editing this! I finished it after getting off work today. It's been a lot of fun, and it feels _so good_ to be able to write again! I've missed it _so_ much! Thank you _so_ much, Everte! 3

Hope you all (especially my fellow Kidge shippers ;D) enjoy this! (Klance and Sheith (and maybe others?) if you squint! lol. If you wanna see it that way and just see the Kidge as friendship or deepening friendship, go right ahead!)

* * *

 **Right Here**

Keith's been in the Black Lion a long time. He's taking even longer than Lance did.

The only difference is, Black woke up from her stasis just a few seconds after Keith sat down in the pilot's seat – in _Shiro's_ seat. But Keith still hasn't come out…

Unable to hold back his concern anymore, Hunk finally speaks up.

"You guys don't think the Black Lion might be some sort of spatial anomaly now, do you? Like, once you step inside for more than a few seconds, you just…poof somewhere else or something like Shiro did…?"

The others stiffen and look at each other. They hadn't considered that. What if that _is_ what's happening? What if it's already happened?

As one, they all bolt into the Black Lion, blinking and shielding their eyes from the brightly-lit control panels. It's been a while since she's been active, after all, and the neon purple light can be startling. That isn't what has their attention almost immediately, however. It's the fact that Keith isn't in the pilot's seat.

For a moment, they all panic. Did what happened to Shiro really happen to Keith, too? Should they leave before the same thing happens to them? They look around for him wildly, and Pidge is about to open her mouth to call his name, heart in her throat—

But then, they hear it. There's a strangled noise from the corner of the cockpit farthest from the dashboard, and they all turn toward it instantly. What they find might just be worse than their fears.

Keith is there, still with them and thankfully still in one piece, but they've never seen him like _this_. He's curled up in as small a ball as possible, one arm curled around his knees while his other hand clutches at his chest, fist white-knuckled in his shirt over his heart. He's staring at nothing, tears streaming down his face as he struggles to get a breath in edgewise, his memories of Shiro replaying in his head with both version of his _"If anything ever happens to me, I want_ you _to lead Voltron"_ as background noise. As they watch, all of them frantic because none of them has _ever_ seen him cry before – no one has but Shiro – and they're at a complete and utter loss for what to _do_ , how to _help_ , it becomes clear that he's in serious danger of hyperventilating. His sobs aren't helping anything, choked, broken, heartrending things that constrict his throat even more, and they're honestly afraid he'll pass out if he keeps this up.

They know Keith and Shiro were close. Anyone with a _quarter_ of a brain would be able to see that. But _this_ …they never expected _this_. They also know they can't just stand around here forever. They have to do _something_. They can _feel_ their hearts breaking for him, even Lance. They just don't know what to do. None of them knew him like Shiro did. None of them are _nearly_ as close to him as Shiro was. Like Pidge said, Keith's always been the 'loner.' His exception to the rule was always Shiro alone…

Even Lance wants to help somehow. He knows Keith would probably rather punch his face in than accept any kind of comfort from him, though, and honestly, after the way Lance has treated him (something he's really, _really_ starting to feel bad about because he _knows_ he started it all, Keith was just defending himself just about every time, and seeing him look so _breakable_ here is doing things to his heart), he can't bring himself to blame Keith at all.

Keith looks so _small_ , so _young_ , so _vulnerable_ right now. _This_ is Keith without his armor, they realize. It shakes them to the core.

Pidge, especially, is at war with herself. She's been struggling with Shiro's disappearance, too. She wants him back more than almost anything. She may not have known him before all this Voltron stuff like Keith did, but she's still really close to him, definitely the closest after Keith. She knows exactly how Keith's feeling right now. Shiro's the only 'family' Keith has left. It's probably the same way she felt when her father and brother disappeared with Shiro on Kerberos. Just like the others, she wants to help him, but she isn't sure how. The only thing she can think of to start is…Keith most likely won't like coming out of this with an audience. That might just make him freak out more...

Biting her lip, she weighs her options, and finally, after a few seconds, she turns to the others. "Everybody, out. Let me talk to him."

The others are surprised, looking from her to him and back, and it's clear by their expressions that they're not sure about the idea. Keith's violent tendencies aside (though they know he'd never hurt her, at least not on purpose), he's not in his right mind right now. That makes him even more dangerous and unpredictable than usual. Allura makes to step forward. "Pidge—"

"Allura," the girl's tone is sharp, precise, but not unkind, "let me do this. I might not be the closest to him, not like Shiro is," the 'is' is deliberate because, like Keith, she won't believe he's gone until she sees it for herself, "but I'm still the closest to him of anyone here. We all know that." She softens a bit, desperate and soft, her voice, too. "Let me try. _Please_." Their continued time-wasting makes her clench her fists, and she lifts her chin higher, not caring if her voice has a bit of a bite to this time. Maybe it'll help get their asses in gear. "Do you want to help him or not?"

And they do, they really do, so they reluctantly all file out of the Black Lion one-by-one. They stay outside, though, just in case Keith reacts badly and she needs their help. Before he leaves, however, Lance puts a hand on her shoulder and looks back over at Keith. His face is a mixture of worried and hurting and hopeful, but he comes back to her with a tiny smile. "Bring him back to us," he implores, more like begs, really. He needs to make things right. "He doesn't know it yet, but we need him. We always have."

For a long moment, Pidge can only stare, wondering if she heard wrong. That is _big_ coming from Lance, especially where Keith is concerned. But in the end, she reaches up to rest her hand on his and nods, a little smile lighting up her face, too. "Don't worry," she reassures. "I'll bring him home."

The 'home' line comforts Lance more than anything, and he ruffles her hair with a minuscule smirk. "That's my Pigeon. We'll be right out here. Call if you need us."

She rolls her eyes fondly at the nickname, but nods, and then she watches him walk down the ramp. Pidge silently thanks Black when she closes them in for privacy, and she takes a deep, somewhat shaky breath before turning to face Keith. This brings back a lot of painful memories...

Walking toward him, she stops about two feet away, just in case. "All right, Katie..." she breathes in through her mouth and out through her nose, a calming breathing exercise Shiro taught her, one she's sure he taught Keith, too, a long time ago, "...here we go..."

Pidge kneels down in front of Keith, and God, from this distance, from this angle, he looks even worse. He has his hand fisted over his mouth to try to stop the sobs that wrack his lithe frame, at least quiet them, but it's not doing any good. There are so many tears rushing down his face, which is already wet and shiny as can be, that he could be a human waterfall of misery and heartache. He's shaking, too, she sees now that she's this close, shaking _violently_ , and she's worried about him being sick now on top of hyperventilating and eventually passing out.

Each and every sound he makes, tear that falls, and jolt and tremor that surge through him are like acid-dipped knives in Pidge. She's not sure _why_ it hurts so much. Maybe it's her protective instincts flaring up. Maybe it's just that they're friends, and she hates to see anyone she cares about in pain. But something inside tells her it's more than that. She can't identify what the 'more' is, exactly, but...the fact that it's there is enough. It just pushes her to help him more.

She reaches out to touch him, take the hand from over his mouth, but hesitates, stops, halfway. What if she shouldn't? What if that'll just make it worse? She has to make sure he registers her presence even a little bit before trying to talk to him. She's heard that helps with panic attacks. At least, she thinks she has. It's been forever since she's read anything human- or Earth-related, and she read that when she was thirteen or fourteen, if she remembers correctly...

So, she opts not to touch his skin just yet, at least not directly. Instead, she rests her fingers feather-lightly on his hair, not moving into it yet, just waiting. His breath hitches for a moment, he stiffens, and another sob leaves him, a hard one, but he doesn't shrink back or lash out. Instead, he leans up just the slightest bit into it, and that assures and gives her confidence enough to push her fingers in a little more, then all the way when he responds even better to that. He leans into her touch readily, biting his knuckles to keep at bay sudden sobs that are harsher than those before, ones that twist the knives in Pidge's heart all the more. A small amount of the tension leaves his shoulders, though, letting her know it _is_ helping, and she cards her fingers through his hair with more fervor.

She wonders if he's relaxing because maybe this is what Shiro used to do to help calm him down, too. The thought soothes and wounds her heart at once.

She doesn't want him to bite through his skin, though, even if he's not biting as hard anymore. But she still won't touch him, not yet, just in case. Opting for a safer route, she takes a deep, shaky breath and dives in – with a healthy amount of caution, of course.

"Keith," she starts, keeping her voice low and careful, always gentle, "it's me. It's Pidge. I know you can feel my hand in your hair. Can you...can you hear me?"

She waits on bated breath, and her answer comes in the form of biting his lip and leaning farther into her hand. Honestly, she expected him to turn away, hide from her, but he's not doing any of that. Something in her chest loosens, warms, and she's reminded of that 'feeling' she couldn't place before. It's back in full force. Whatever it is, for right now, she holds onto it.

She swallows. "Good. Look, um...I know I'm not Shiro, but I'm...I like to think I'm your closest friend here besides him." She waits a moment, not sure what he'll have to say to that, but luckily, he doesn't make a move to protest, just seems to agree, even accept it. Something about that makes her smile a little. "The others...they're really worried about you." She breathes a laugh, stroking his hair a little more when he tenses at that. "I think Lance was the most worried, if you can believe it. I have a feeling he'll want to talk to you when this is over." His eyebrows stitch together a tiny bit at the mention of Lance, disbelieving and clearly worried about the potential conversation, but she just smiles kindly. "Don't worry about them, though, okay? They said to take as long as we need, so...we're safe." He relaxes a smidgen, and she does, too. "Good."

She isn't really sure how to start the next part. It's...complicated. But she knows she has to try. So, she does things like she always does: on faith and her skills and by the skin of her teeth. "I know you're hurting, Keith," she tells him gently, softly, not wanting him to get defensive. But he just listens. After all, she's already seen him like this. What does he really have to hide anymore? "You're probably feeling like I was when Dad and Matt first disappeared. You're terrified and confused and in denial. You'll do anything to prove that it's not true, fight anyone who says otherwise. Your chest hurts, your throat's constricted, and you're praying for release from the pain, but want it to stay, too, because if it's there, that means...that means that it's real. And if it's real, with any luck at all, with any hope left in the universe...it means you might be able to _do_ something about it. It means you _have_ to, no matter what sacrifices you have to make. If the only way to get the pain to stop is to find Dad and Matt, to find Shiro...you'll do anything."

She doesn't notice, but while talking about this, she's been playing with her hair, her _short_ hair, eyes moving to the floor. So when she pauses, only to realize and look up to find his eyes on hers and a shade clearer than they've been this whole time, her own widen. Her breath stops.

There's so much hope and relief in his eyes, and it dawns on her that he probably never expected anyone else to understand how he's feeling. That makes her smile, has to, and she reaches out to squeeze his hand, the one he was biting that's finally fallen from his mouth. She doesn't care about the spit on it. She's just glad he didn't break the skin. His tears have slowed a bit in his shock, too, sobs with them. Even if it's just for now, she'll take it. Thank goodness.

She clears her throat, and it's only when a tear falls from her own eyes that she notices the burning in them. She raises her hand to wipe it away—

—but Keith's swift hand beats her to it, and she surprises herself, heart skipping a beat, when she leans into his touch.

It must surprise him, too, because his hand falters for a moment, and the rest of him kind of freezes. He's gentle when he touches her, she can't help but notice, and yet it's different from the familiar, protectively companionable way he touches Shiro, the way that screams 'you're safe with me.' There's protectiveness in hers, too, but it's a new type, one she hasn't encountered before. There's not the familiarity there that's born of years of being friends, akin to family, but there's a kind brought about in fighting side by side, pulling the occasional prank on Lance, training together, late night talks about crytpids and conspiracy theories and how Lance is an almost-lovable pain in the ass. It's made of friendship and trust and understanding on a level the others don't have, and Pidge will be damned if she doesn't feel the way her heart is hammering in her chest. She prays his heightened hearing doesn't pick up on it. If the wide eyes and red tint to his cheeks are any indication, though, she hopes he's too busy with reining in his own emotions.

Realizing how long it's been, he tears his hand away like he's been burned and fixes his eyes on the floor. He swallows, and Pidge takes a silent, shuddering breath. That was weird...but she liked it. The intensity, the emotion, how his hand felt on her skin. That last one makes her own cheeks darken more than they already were, and she forces herself to get back on task. She's here to help Keith. She should get back to it.

Time to get to the heart of the matter.

"Keith..." slowly, he looks back over at her, pursing his lips, and she reaches over to take his hand without thinking about it, squeezing it tightly, "...just because Black chose you, that doesn't mean Shiro's gone. She let you do it before, right? On that planet after Haggar separated us. Shiro was still alive, right in front of you, more or less. Who says it's not the same now? The circumstances are different, and we don't know where he is yet, but that doesn't mean we have to assume the worst. For all we know, he's fighting his way back to us already, has been the whole time."

Her words are having a calming effect on him, wave after wave of tension tumbling into oblivion, eyes becoming clearer and tears slowing, hope replacing it. She's proud of herself, proud of _him_. She doesn't know how Lance antagonized him for so long. He's a really good guy with a really good, loving heart. There're just some walls to break through first, that's all.

"Shiro's a fighter, a survivor," she starts up again, pulling from Shiro's own bag of tricks now, but she figures it'll help; she even throws in a tender, encouraging smile like he did for her, "like you. If he's out there, we'll find him." She softens a bit and admits, "Shiro said that to me after I found that video feed of Matt in Beta Traz." Her cheeks pinken some, and she shrugs gently. "He always knew what to say."

Slowly, after a few heartbeats to let that sink in with him, she tugs lightly on his hand, her face set in determination and amber eyes alight with fire. "We're not going to stop looking for him. I'll help you, no matter how long it takes. You won't be replacing him either. You'll just be helping us out by leading us _until_ we find him." She offers a kind, toothy grin, voice lowering some to match. "And you know, for the record, 'loner' or not, I think you'll do great." She sees how doubtful he is, picks up on how much even the notion of him in pain hurts her, and she squeezes his hand again, rubbing soothing circles into its back. "Shiro knows you have it in you, and you trust him, right? You can _do_ this, Keith Kogane. I believe in you. We all do, even Lance. You just need a little adjustment room, that's all," the corner of her mouth quirks up a bit more, "and we'll be there to support you through it. _I_ will be."

For several long moments, he just stares at her like he can't believe she just said that, any of it, that this is really happening. But finally, hesitantly, his eyes move from her face to their joined hands and back a few times, stopping on their hands in the end. After five heartbeats, he reaffirms his grip on hers. His tremors have long faded by now, thank goodness, and his tears have, too. His face is still soaked and red, and his eyes are dark and puffy, but most of that will fade in time. He ducks his head to dry them in an effort to get some of his composure back, and she politely looks away. She wants to respect his privacy after he just _let_ her see him at his lowest. He didn't have to, after all. She's still wrapping her mind around the fact that she didn't just hallucinate this whole thing.

Once he's done, she gradually rises from her knees to a crouch, waiting to see if he'll be all right with leaving Black yet and facing the others before going any further. He swallows and nods at the unspoken question, a tiny, grateful smile painting his lips. Taking that and running with it, she smiles right back and stands up completely. He follows after her, a little slower and correcting his footing when he stumbles from the emotional exhaustion abruptly weighing on him, but he stands tall in the end, and that's what matters.

"Ready?" she asks softly, purposely running her thumb up and down the side of his hand.

He looks toward the will-be entrance, then down at their entwined hands once more after another beat. He swallows, purses his lips, and then, after a deep breath or two, he nods again, squeezing her hand back. He tosses her a warm smile – and something about it makes a sudden thought of how she'd really love to see that smile more often spring to life in her heart of hearts. "Yeah," he replies just as quietly. "Let's go."

Black bends down to let them out, and they start making their way down the ramp. Pidge suddenly remembers they're holding hands, and she moves to take her hand away so as not to embarrass him – but he just tightens his grip on her hand, smile widening in a way that makes her heart almost stop, she's sure, and she smiles back before averting her gaze, _feeling_ the bright blush on her cheeks.

When they finally make it down to the hangar floor, the others are watching them. Their eyes are immediately drawn to their linked hands, and Lance looks up at them with an eyebrow raised. Hunk, Allura, and Coran have the decency to quell their own curiosity. Pidge blushes further, but Keith stands stronger than ever, and affection overflows in her chest. He really is something else.

"So...buddy," Lance starts off, rubbing the back of his head and eyeing Keith worriedly, smartly choosing not to mention anything about their little hand-holdy deal, at least not yet; knowing him, he'll pull Pidge aside later, "are you, uh..." he shrugs, not really sure how to put it, what he's doing; this is _Keith_ , after all, and he still needs to fix things, "...okay now?"

Keith blinks, eyes widening, and he looks over at Pidge as if to say 'You really weren't kidding about him being worried.' He's never seen Lance so...unsure. But he respects Lance enough to take the high road and not say anything about it, instead choosing to just nod and answer honestly.

"Yeah. I...I will be, anyway." His voice is quiet, a little rough from the crying and all, but it's there, and he offers a tiny smile for all of their sakes. "I just...I'm sorry. I'm sorry all of you had to see that." He can see they're about to protest, reassure him it's okay, but he doesn't give them the chance. He knows it wouldn't be pity, but...still. "I _will_ lead Voltron, but only temporarily until we find Shiro. We're not going to stop looking for him, but our duty is to the universe first. Okay?"

He's not saying it like it's an order. He's _asking_ like a leader who wants to hear the input of his team, and Pidge squeezes his hand, grinning widely. She's proud of him. He's already shaping up to be a great head of Voltron.

The others nod instantly, some of them a few times for emphasis. "I think that sounds perfect!" Allura praises, a brilliant beam on her face, the happiest any of them have seen since Shiro disappeared.

Coran, at her side, twirls his mustache and gives a relaxed salute. "I'd follow you anywhere, temporary Black Paladin!" He winks.

Hunk pumps his fists at half-mast and encourages, "Yeah, you've got this, Keith! Lead the way! And we'll be right there with you if you get stuck!"

Lance is the last to respond, Pidge's answer already known, and Keith's eyes find his a shade hesitantly. The Blue Paladin is looking at him funny, and Keith worries he said something wrong. He hopes this won't turn into another argument. He doesn't know if he could handle that right no—

The next thing he knows, Lance is _hugging_ him, practically crushing him to his chest, and Keith stiffens immediately. He relaxes a few seconds later when he realizes he's not being attacked, of course, but he's still not sure what this is. What's gotten into him? "I'm sorry," Lance starts without warning, voice deep and low, but everyone can hear it anyway, "for everything. I didn't...I mean..." he buries his face a little more in Keith's shoulder, and Keith's breath hitches in his throat, "...I've been a dick."

Keith's expression saddens a bit in understanding. He never meant to let it go this far either... "Hey, I wasn't exactly poster child for defending myself _nicely_ either, and I threw some barbs at you, too. Neither of us was entirely innocent."

"Yeah..." Lance looks to the side. "But I...if you'll let me...I want to fix it...us... I want to start over. I want to contribute to the team. I want to help you be the best leader you can be, temporary or not. I want to help you get Shiro back and save the universe once and for all, together, as the team we're meant to be." He hesitates, worries his lip. "But I'd...understand if you wouldn't wan—"

He's cut off when Keith _throws_ himself into hugging him back, strong arms wrapping around the other boy's lanky frame and white-knuckled fists curling in his jacket, burying his face in his shoulder. "I definitely want that," he tells him, the surety in his voice reassurance enough. "If you'll help me, I'll gladly have it."

After a few long moments, he finally withdraws from the hug, only to clasp Lance's shoulder and squeeze it, giving him a bright smile while tilting his head to the side slightly. His dark blue eyes shine. "And you _do_ contribute to the team, Lance. You're our sharpshooter, the best, and the one who reminds us not to take ourselves or the mission too seriously. You get us to laugh when we need to let go, and you always have our backs. You already do so much more for all of us, even me, than you realize." He squeezes his shoulder again. "Don't sell yourself so short. There are still so many things we all have to discover about ourselves. We'll get there, all of us." His eyes sweep over the rest of them, too, and they all grin and feel a pride they haven't since losing Shiro. "Together."

Lance blinks, his face scrunches up and lip trembles, and for a moment, Keith panics. Oh, God, is he about to cry? What did he say? He was just following his instincts. Hell, if he already messed this up—

" _Dude_ ," Lance claps Keith on the shoulder, making him stumble a little, a laughing undertone to the friendly nickname and a massive, almost euphoric smile on his face, the happiest and most confident Keith's seen in months, and it honestly throws the new leader for a loop, "you've been spending _way_ too much time with Shiro. That was _amazing_." He grins wider, so much that it turns into a smirk, only it's not one of his usual ones. No...this one's proud, proud to follow _him_ , Keith realizes. "See? Shiro was right. You _are_ gonna be good at this."

Keith's shocked, breath stopped, and for a moment, he can't do anything but blink and stare. But he glances over at Pidge, at the others, and they're all smiling so much and _radiating_ pride. Hunk and Allura even have _tears_ in their eyes... Finally, he softens, tension leaving his shoulders, and he exhales through his nose, an easy, adoring smile coming to his face. "Thanks, Lance," he breathes. "Thanks, all of you. I'll do my best to lead you like I should." He shrugs, knowing himself too well. "I can't promise there won't be times when you won't want to strangle me, though."

Lance just slings an arm around his shoulders and starts leading them all out of the hangar. " _Oh_ , don't you worry," he almost sing-songs. "We figure there'll be a learning curve." He ruffles his hair, just to hear Keith squawk. He snickers. "We've got you, buddy."

Keith laughs softly in response, brow cocked, and then he looks on his other side. Pidge is right there, as he somehow knew she would be, and he reaches out for her, giving her a tender, grateful smile she's quickly realizing is only reserved for her. She has to wonder if he even knows he's doing it. The thought makes her blush either way, but that doesn't stop her from returning it and taking his hand like it's nothing. He pulls her closer, running his thumb over her hand's soft back, and if possible, his expression falls even tenderer.

That feeling she couldn't identify before is screaming at her now, not its name, but how it feels, rushing all throughout her body, and she doesn't stop herself from squeezing his hand. She might not know what this feeling is yet...but she can tell he's feeling it, too, and they're going to have a hell of a ( _fun_ ) ride figuring it out.

Shiro will love this.

* * *

 _A/N:_ Thanks so much for reading! This is my first Voltron fic (even though I've been in love with the show since season one) _and_ my first Kidge fic,never mind the first fic I've written in almost a year, so hopefully it's not too rusty and no one's too OOC! Please let me know how I did, though! I'd really appreciate it! Have a great day/night!


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